Friday, March 12, 2010

Is it ok to keep photo albums of past boyfriends?...o... shoe boxes with little nic nacs from past boyfriends?

well is it ok? or no? my girl friends does this





we dont live together...both still in college...i have a she made a box and photo album for her and me too...but that just makes me feel like im on the same level as her ex-bfs because they all have albums and boxes too...

Is it ok to keep photo albums of past boyfriends?...o... shoe boxes with little nic nacs from past boyfriends?
Its not ok to have 50 pbf. I don't think that it is normal behaviour.
Reply:if your boyfriend feels uncomfortable with your memories of the past, think about putting them in a storage or someplace where you can still have them but they wont bother him so much. always keep in mind how your partner feels as well as how you feel.
Reply:Absolutely keep them for now. Those are the things that build our self confidence and get us through the rough times.





When I became engaged formally to my first husband, I brought a box of love letters and pictures and other mementos and together he and I went through them and tossed them out.





He had never asked me to do this but afterwards he told me how much it meant to him. Like an extra gift and a confirmation of your love.
Reply:Certainly, when you're an old fart whose going to believe your stories w/out photographic evidence?
Reply:She has a right to hold on to her memories as she sees fit. You do not own her. You do not own her mind. It does not matter whether you live together or not. Her memory boxes are hers.


If you want to be special and memorable, then BE special. Create special experiences and pleasant emotions that you share. Do not try to control her.
Reply:Yah, it's probably ok, that is until your "next" boyfriend comes along, he won't be so fond of the idea.
Reply:It depends on how your current BF feels about it. And, why you want to keep the pictures.
Reply:I think keeping those memories isn't wrong... they were important parts of her personal history, and they would be nice things to talk about her grandchildren, so they know the guys their grandpa defeated to win grandma's heart ;)
Reply:My Mom always said to never throw away photos. I have all of mine and I'm older.
Reply:Sure its ok, but someday when you get another boyfriend you may want to toss the stuff out so it dont cause problems.
Reply:i would, its only memories. i wouldnt want to give them up until i was ready.
Reply:You should keep them, it is part of your past and just a tad of who you are today. If other people envy and/or or jealous of this -- too bad -- Do you think you have to explain yourself and if you do, do whom?
Reply:let it go -


let it go...





I've known so many women that do this...if you force her to throw anything she treasures away...you'll never hear the end of it.





If your relationship gets serious and you're the one...those boxes will disappear in time.





I have a friend that does that now (JUST FRIENDS)


...and anytime we have a picture taken together...i make sure she gets a copy and I tell her it's for "my box"...


and I always ask her to make sure "my box" is next to the nice guys...do wanna be in the back with the jerks...


she laughs...





no it's not ok that your girlfriend does that with your knowledge...


it makes you feel second rate and it prevents you from ever being being taken seriously...your just a trophy...


it's weird...it's mental...and totally a chick thing...





do your best to let it (the box) go...or it'll be a constant issue for you two.


let her have her idiosyncrasies...you'll have them too.
Reply:you cood but once you get a new bf you might want to put them away in a safe place.
Reply:I throw stuff out. I have the memories. I don't need objects to remind me of the past. let your exes go and just learn from what you went through them for the cause of the breakups. That way your next relationship you will have some knowledge so don't keep old stuff. Plus there is a chance your new guy will find it and start asking questions like why you still have stuff from them.
Reply:its just memories....i mean this way u get to see what he past boyfriends are like and stuff i still have pics of my ex boyfriend...and its just a gurl thing i guess but if you guys further ur relationship then you should talk to her about maybe throwing it away or something
Reply:funny thing about pictures are. they are a memory of past times. nic nacs are ok because it does not show it was given by a certain person. photos can be disturbing to another guy but doesnt mean you should toss your past. good idea is to store them away but be honest with future men explain what they are that they are your memories and you do not want to stare at them but one day your going to be old and want to take a peak at your life again and see the changes you have made. and if the guy is not understanding just say by keeping the pictures they remind me how many wrong men I went through to find mr right and when things between us feels rough then looking at my mistakes will just make me see just how much i love you.
Reply:I think It's ok your just dating but if you were to get married then I think both of you should let go of the past and enjoy your future
Reply:It keeps that memory alive, maybe she needs something to help her remember her past...i would tell her that it upsets you because of how you feel like all the others. also tell her that it is keeping her in that time in her life. If she wants to start over with you, she should get over them and get rid of it. The best way to move on is too get rid of all things that remind her of them.



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